Sad News - Death of a Friend
This morning when I got to the office, my boss pulled me aside to tell me a friend and co-worker died last night. I was in a state of shock. He's one of the nicest guys you'd ever meet. Only in his 40's, with a wife and four kids who he adored. I just can't wrap my head around the fact that he's gone.
We worked together for about 2 years, but only recently were we starting to get to know each other on a more personal level. I am very sad to have lost someone I felt was becoming a really good friend. He just recently started working on his master's degree, and was excited about doing a temporary detail teaching at our academy. I didn't know it, but he was a teacher before coming to work for our agency. He started the detail in May and was supposed to come back to the office in about another month. He was always upbeat about everything and seemed to have such an even keel outlook on life.
Later in the day, we learned that he had taken his own life. I just can't fathom how this could happen. He loved his family so much, I don't understand how he could leave them. I have run the gamut of emotions today...from sad, to angry, to depressed, to feeling guilty because I'm mad at him for doing what he did. How could he leave his wife and kids? What was he thinking? What made him feel that what he did was the only solution? What did we miss? Was there anything any of us could have done to make things turn out different? The thoughts just keep tumbling round and round.
There was a group meeting with a counselor for those that wanted to go. I went. I'm not sure I learned anything or if it helped, other than others were there who cared for him and we were able to share our sorrow. There is a Swedish Proverb, “Shared joy is a double joy; shared sorrow is half a sorrow.” It doesn't feel any less.
We worked together for about 2 years, but only recently were we starting to get to know each other on a more personal level. I am very sad to have lost someone I felt was becoming a really good friend. He just recently started working on his master's degree, and was excited about doing a temporary detail teaching at our academy. I didn't know it, but he was a teacher before coming to work for our agency. He started the detail in May and was supposed to come back to the office in about another month. He was always upbeat about everything and seemed to have such an even keel outlook on life.
Later in the day, we learned that he had taken his own life. I just can't fathom how this could happen. He loved his family so much, I don't understand how he could leave them. I have run the gamut of emotions today...from sad, to angry, to depressed, to feeling guilty because I'm mad at him for doing what he did. How could he leave his wife and kids? What was he thinking? What made him feel that what he did was the only solution? What did we miss? Was there anything any of us could have done to make things turn out different? The thoughts just keep tumbling round and round.
There was a group meeting with a counselor for those that wanted to go. I went. I'm not sure I learned anything or if it helped, other than others were there who cared for him and we were able to share our sorrow. There is a Swedish Proverb, “Shared joy is a double joy; shared sorrow is half a sorrow.” It doesn't feel any less.
Oh my God, I am so sorry to read this. Poor man, sometimes it is incomprehensible why supposingly happy people do this but sometimes, inside they are struggling with stress or depression and worries that only they know about.
ReplyDeleteI hope he is at peace now.
take care, Lynne x